On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
