Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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