I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
