now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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