Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
