I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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