Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
