hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
