I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I wear drunk well.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
