Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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