I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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