i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
