a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
