If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
