I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i dont even know how to be here
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
