I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
that may or may not have been my penis.
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