no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
