Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
