batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
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She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
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The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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