this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This is classic penis vs brain.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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