we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
