The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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