Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
