Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
