operation have a gay friend backfired
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
