Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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