I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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