i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
