we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
