A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
