Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
