He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
