Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The beer is more important than you right now.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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