p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I need water and some morals
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
