He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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