Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
