she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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