:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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