Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
