should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
