Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
