i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
The ass gains better be worth it
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