so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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