good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I had to cum in my sink.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
