we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
