I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Im part way to drunk.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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