party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
