My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
