I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize