I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
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i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
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i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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