We're facebook friends in real life
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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