sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
