Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
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You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
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See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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