So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
