Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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