And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
