Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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