I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize