Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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