Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
