happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
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do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you fell through a lawn chair
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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