soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
